I read a sentence that I found on Instagram that said “Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows” and I immediately realized that something was not right. Not because I have read it elsewhere, but because in reality the mind is the one who must accept what our hearts already know.
During several years I began to realize in my life that many actions, thoughts and things that the mind accepted as good, were not aligned with what my heart said.
That is why after a while my presence as a freelance “blogger, influencer” became less and less present as such. The internal struggle between what “gives us success, money, fame” against what the heart really desires.
But, yes I know. Are you going to tell me that we have to live on something to pay the bills, food, school, the car, etc.
Sure, but that will be at the beginning. While you discover and begin to control your mind. You will travel a whole path where you will educate your body to find balance, and that will be where you will have those confusions; where one wants to do one thing while the other yearns for another.
In the midst of my transformation, I began to realize that what made me a better person (or handle energy better) was sharing my knowledge with others through classes. In classes of image advice, production, social networks. Training for companies to work with their employees in one direction, fitness classes, dance… It doesn’t matter what the agenda was, if not sharing that knowledge. Clearly a photo showing a new dress, how to combine the shoes with the bag, or the most top restaurant did not generate anything for me. And so my time to generate fashion content was reduced.
Channeling all this and going back to my roots, I took up the sport again. Not thinking about teaching, but because of my spiritual being that was inside me telling me over and over again that I should stop being still and move or rather “wake up”.
I took salsa and bachata classes. Almost like a routine, first twice a week, then add weekends, I needed to learn more and I enrolled in a dance academy. I really learned to make my body smile and this increasingly distanced me from that world that I see as cold, calculating, which is beautiful and luxurious of course… but it only lasts a moment, it is replaced with another image, another video and finally After all, all that we generate does not taste like anything.
Dance until exhaustion, literally. Until bankrupt without having taken a single drop of alcohol. While I did not stop exercising my body, taking care of it excessively with highly planned diets with a nutritionist so as not to lose weight from the activity but to gain or at least maintain it. I used my whole being to train different sports activities, meet different teachers and come across people who were destined to show me the way. That restlessness that frees me and at the same time motivates me to continue looking for my purpose, makes my spirit restless and makes me explore.
I discovered that getting rid of the things I had makes me lighter. The accessories of life, as Sadhguru calls them, those material things that distract us. Taking the weight off my shoulders for an even bigger goal felt really good. That goal was to take the first step. A giant step for some, for others it could be normal, but for me it is the first towards an eternal path, which perhaps I had already started before and am continuing now.
And here I am, after the adversities of all this time, I continue in that same search but this time with a map. A more balanced gps. With situations, experiences, actions and people that show me the route. All causality is that they are there. They probably were there before too. But it was not the time, the accessories did not let him see it either.
And that is where I wonder if it was the mind that governed the body and did not allow me to feel what the heart already knows.
Balance, equilibrium. It’s always about the same thing.
Have a good day!